These 7 Video Games Will Replace Your Reality TV Binge

Ramona Singer looks shocked on the set of Real Housewives of New York as another blonde housewife points her finger and yells at her.  Dorinda Medley watches her nails in the background.

Photo: Cheer

If there is anything on the planet more invigorating, more purely and perfectly exciting than watching five little blonde female dogs throwing up mimosas on TV, I don’t know what it is.

Reality TV became part of my life as soon as I could ask “Mom, what is teenage pregnancy?” So, like, four years. But despite the fascination I’ve always had with hideous knee-high fur boots jerseyshore and the disgust stretched over thick accents on 90 day fiance, I know that reality TV is “not good for society”. Shows are often exploitative, paying their contestants nothing and taking advantage of their flaws, bad luck, and bodies to make audiences laugh. They embrace harmful stereotypes and rarely say anything other than how we as humans are willing to demean ourselves for any kind of attention. And America’s Next Top Model literally starring blackface several times. Many!

I remember these things, but when a streaming service presents me with another cast of skinny, airbrushed women promising the most dramatic season ever, I go back to reality TV like a spider. stalks its web-wrapped prey. Or maybe I’m the prey.

I can’t look away, that’s my point. I can’t defend reality TV, but I can’t stop watching these Barbie dolls cry, their horrific sobs translating into red-faced confessionals and Instagram captions that I can capture, read, and send to everyone. my friends. Damn it. But it’s delicious to be transformed into an animal like this, to turn despair into a sight to be celebrated over a cranberry vodka.

So I’ll make no apologies for putting together this despicable list of video games that will entertain you just as much as the nerdiest reality TV star. Each entry on this list has a particular type of reality TV fan in mind – the sell sunset angels, the falcon Survivor viewers, the real housewives monsters, you will all meet here. It’s my safe space for junk TV, but these games are good enough to be revisited long after a malpractice set closes.

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Carolyn M. Daniel